July 2015

Read Full Post »

May 19, 2015

My sister posted Mio’s photo at her FB timeline, duh.

Read Full Post »

Mio

This moron is my eldest son. He’s very jealous of Gab, omg.

Read Full Post »

Heaven is..

right here. right now. in a cool place. eating ice cream. cuddling mio. curled up in bed. reading zafon’s the angel’s game. 

Read Full Post »

March 4, 2015

I just finished watching Healer. Korean dramas are really good at romantic stories. I wish that there’s someone who can really love me just like that. Anyway, the cheap Acer Cherry Mobile phone that I’m using really sucks. There’s no notepad and I can’t even save messages without recipient so I’ve been carrying pen and paper around like I’m living in a Jurassic era. I need to cut down some expenses, too. So instead of buying things that I’m used to, I bought cheaper brands. Like Marlboro for instance, I’m now smoking Pall Mall. It’s halfway cheaper. But seriously, there are things that I can’t let go. The cologne that I just bought from the grocery store is not strong enough. I can still smell the smoke from my shirt. I really need to go to the mall and buy vanilla or warm sugar vanilla. Also, I’m tired of eating multigrain chips and hawaiian chicken spread.

PS: Mio needs a  bath.

Read Full Post »

October 11, 2014

It’s 5 in the morning and I just woke up from a bad dream. I’m trying to brush everything away by drinking coffee. I haven’t written anything for awhile. My life was of lately consumed by unfortunate events and these led me to depression. I’ve been battling with this sickness, alone. It’s been more than a year and I haven’t recovered yet. I isolated myself from everyone and I’m trying to help myself by having a talk therapy with my dog. It’s weird, yes, and pathetic. But the thing is, his silence and his company made it possible to endure something that is unendurable – and that is to keep on breathing.

I’m sorry for being this idle and lost. I know some people visited this blog expecting to see some updates like my childhood friend, Cathy whom I haven’t seen in 19 years. I’m sorry I can’t write anything interesting. The humor is leaving me.

Read Full Post »

“She’s the one who taught me what love is..”

I would like to share with you what I have found at the internet. Two years ago, singer Fiona Apple wrote a letter to her fans postponing her concert tour to be with her sick dog. It was a four-page hand written letter posted on her Facebook. It was the most heartening piece I’ve ever read about love for her dog.  Letters such as this will break you from the inside and will make you realize that love is a universal thing. That love, friendship and family just can’t be found in humans…and that’s the real thing.

* I’ve highlighted parts I can relate to..

“It’s 6pm on Friday, and I’m writing to a few thousand friends I have not met yet. I am writing to ask them to change our plans and meet a little while later.

Here’s the thing.

I have a dog Janet, and she’s been ill for almost two years now, as a tumor has been idling in her chest, growing ever so slowly. She’s almost 14 years old now. I got her when she was 4 months old. I was 21 then, an adult officially – and she was my child.

She is a pitbull, and was found in Echo Park, with a rope around her neck, and bites all over her ears and face. She was the one the dogfighters use to puff up the confidence of the contenders.

She’s almost 14 and I’ve never seen her start a fight, or bite, or even growl, so I can understand why they chose her for that awful role. She’s a pacifist.

Janet has been the most consistent relationship of my adult life, and that is just a fact. We’ve lived in numerous houses, and jumped a few make shift families, but it’s always really been the two of us.

She slept in bed with me, her head on the pillow, and she accepted my hysterical, tearful face into her chest, with her paws around me, every time I was heartbroken, or spirit-broken, or just lost, and as years went by, she let me take the role of her child, as I fell asleep, with her chin resting above my head.

She was under the piano when I wrote songs, barked any time I tried to record anything, and she was in the studio with me all the time we recorded the last album.

The last time I came back from tour, she was spry as ever, and she’s used to me being gone for a few weeks every 6 or 7 years.

She has Addison’s Disease, which makes it dangerous for her to travel since she needs regular injections of Cortisol, because she reacts to stress and to excitement without the physiological tools which keep most of us from literally panicking to death.

Despite all of this, she’s effortlessly joyful and playful, and only stopped acting like a puppy about 3 years ago.

She’s my best friend and my mother and my daughter, my benefactor, and she’s the one who taught me what love is.

I can’t come to South America. Not now. When I got back from the last leg of the US tour, there was a big, big difference. She doesn’t even want to go for walks anymore.

I know that she’s not sad about aging or dying. Animals have a survival instinct, but a sense of mortality and vanity, they do not. That’s why they are so much more present than people.

But I know that she is coming close to point where she will stop being a dog, and instead, be part of everything. She’ll be in the wind, and in the soil, and the snow, and in me, wherever I go.

I just can’t leave her now, please understand. If I go away again, I’m afraid she’ll die and I won’t have the honor of singing her to sleep, of escorting her out.

Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to pick which socks to wear to bed. But this decision is instant.
These are the choices we make, which define us.

I will not be the woman who puts her career ahead of love and friendship. I am the woman who stays home and bakes Tilapia for my dearest, oldest friend. And helps her be comfortable, and comforted, and safe, and important.

Many of us these days, we dread the death of a loved one. It is the ugly truth of Life, that keeps us feeling terrified and alone.

I wish we could also appreciate the time that lies right beside the end of time.

I know that I will feel the most overwhelming knowledge of her, and of her life and of my love for her, in the last moments. I need to do my damnedest to be there for that.

Because it will be the most beautiful, the most intense, the most enriching experience of life I’ve ever known.

When she dies.

So I am staying home, and I am listening to her snore and wheeze, and reveling in the swampiest, most awful breath that ever emanated from an angel.

And I am asking for your blessing.

I’ll be seeing you.

Love, Fiona

 

Read Full Post »

The Lamp Shade Dog

Mio got an ear infection. Now he wears cone of shame hee hee..

He reminds me of Pixar Logo.

Read Full Post »

Mio and Me Snapshots

Selfie 😀

Read Full Post »

Mio’s First Trip for 2014

Read Full Post »